








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2097 | 40% |
| Smokes | 694 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1263 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1173 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,188,771 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shabootiqui | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | Stefan | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | TireN | 60% | 75 |
| #4 | Kasvav1 | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | ✪ Dusan | 59% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ Dusan | 59% | 46 |
| #6 | Acenio | 52% | 42 |
| #7 | Dave on the dole | 47% | 32 |
| #8 | char | 45% | 31 |
| #9 | SassySusie (gamer) | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Dusan | 27 | 0.0297 |
| #2 | SassySusie (gamer) | 19 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | Acenio | 13 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | TireN | 10 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Shabootiqui | 9 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SassySusie (gamer) | 193 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kasvav1 | 161 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪ Dusan | 107 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | TireN | 79 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dave on the dole | 77 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Dusan | +6.08 | 95 | 45 |
| #2 | TireN | +5.18 | 88 | 54 |
| #3 | Shabootiqui | +4.80 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | Acenio | +3.81 | 60 | 48 |
| #5 | Kasvav1 | +2.24 | 68 | 67 |





