








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 294 matches | ||
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3472 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6119 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5667 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5070 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,436,818 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 516 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β¦Sv(gΓΈdl1ke) | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | 62% | 293 |
| #3 | No1ce | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | Acenio | 60% | 80 |
| #5 | 4e | 60% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kasvav1 | 56% | 77 |
| #10 | MRDAMIZTOHO | 55% | 51 |
| #11 | Dave on the dole | 43% | 40 |
| #12 | Debbi | 38% | 80 |
| #13 | SassySusie (gamer) | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acenio | 16 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | SassySusie (gamer) | 13 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Debbi | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | zekkY | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | 460 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | 4e | 368 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ε°δΈγ¦γγγ | 291 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kasvav1 | 236 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Debbi | 200 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΈπͺπ¬πͺ | +2.31 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Shabootiqui | +1.60 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Acenio | +1.32 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | Kasvav1 | +1.08 | 57 | 66 |
| #5 | ε°δΈγ¦γγγ | +0.61 | 74 | 57 |





