








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1805 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1599 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1743 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1450 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,838 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MG | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Sigurd | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Лиле Homo | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | KvH | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | Unota | 48% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Unota | 48% | 89 |
| #6 | Influencer | 46% | 39 |
| #7 | oyda | 45% | 67 |
| #8 | damien | 22% | 9 |
| #9 | Deppi⭕⃤ | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KvH | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Лиле Homo | 7 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Unota | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | oyda | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Sigurd | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KvH | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Unota | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | oyda | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Лиле Homo | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | MG | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Influencer | +3.16 | 65 | 49 |
| #2 | KvH | +2.62 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | Oyxu hellcase.org | +1.80 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | MG | +0.38 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | oyda | -0.41 | 55 | 52 |





