








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1702 | 30% |
| Smokes | 837 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1586 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1558 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,761 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Influencer | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Unota | 58% | 121 |
| #4 | KvH | 58% | 113 |
| #5 | Nick | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Deppi⭕⃤ | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | Лиле Homo | 53% | 34 |
| #9 | Big Poppa | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | damien | 39% | 23 |
| #11 | 𝙎𝙊𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KvH | 18 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Unota | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Лиле Homo | 8 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 5 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Deppi⭕⃤ | 4 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unota | 174 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | KvH | 153 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 112 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Лиле Homo | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | oyda | 69 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick | +6.09 | 94 | 60 |
| #2 | KvH | +4.04 | 74 | 47 |
| #3 | Influencer | +3.44 | 67 | 43 |
| #4 | Oyxu hellcase.org | +3.17 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | oyda | +1.30 | 54 | 51 |





