








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1702 | 30% |
| Smokes | 837 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1586 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1558 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,965 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Influencer | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Unota | 58% | 121 |
| #4 | KvH | 58% | 113 |
| #5 | Nick | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Deppi⭕⃤ | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | Лиле Homo | 53% | 34 |
| #9 | Big Poppa | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | damien | 39% | 23 |
| #11 | 𝙎𝙊𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KvH | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Unota | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Лиле Homo | 3 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Deppi⭕⃤ | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 2 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unota | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | KvH | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | oyda | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Лиле Homo | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick | +4.47 | 94 | 59 |
| #2 | Big Poppa | +2.97 | 65 | 38 |
| #3 | KvH | +2.19 | 74 | 47 |
| #4 | Influencer | +1.06 | 67 | 46 |
| #5 | MG | +0.35 | 64 | 49 |





