








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1206 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2327 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2883 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2366 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,858 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Unota | 49% | 197 |
| #6 | KvH | 46% | 114 |
| #7 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 45% | 67 |
| #8 | Deppi⭕⃤ | 36% | 25 |
| #9 | damien | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Лиле Homo | 14 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | KvH | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Unota | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | MG | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oyxu hellcase.org | 294 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Unota | 251 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | KvH | 154 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Лиле Homo | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | MG | 89 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KvH | +3.76 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | Influencer | +3.15 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | Oyxu hellcase.org | +1.15 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | oyda | +0.47 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | MG | +0.06 | 61 | 47 |





