








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1051 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2754 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2915 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2808 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3156 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,669 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BramZL | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Giedow | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | Vallas | 60% | 137 |
| #4 | ImBeef | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | gwn_Hidde | 55% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Meg | 45% | 49 |
| #15 | oubas | 44% | 43 |
| #16 | Al-Kebabi | 42% | 72 |
| #17 | Aparino | 30% | 20 |
| #18 | issar | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 37 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Vallas | 21 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Gwyll | 14 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | oubas | 11 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | bertvc_ | 10 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 730 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Tinus | 295 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Vallas | 231 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | bertvc_ | 181 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | oubas | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BramZL | +4.57 | 82 | 44 |
| #2 | oubas | +2.29 | 91 | 65 |
| #3 | Huzoll | +2.20 | 70 | 64 |
| #4 | ImBeef | +2.07 | 80 | 50 |
| #5 | issar | +1.15 | 73 | 28 |





