








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1960 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2298 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3056 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1741 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,161,534 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Huzoll | 48% | 250 |
| #8 | jazz | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | Gwyll | 46% | 89 |
| #10 | Al-Kebabi | 43% | 76 |
| #11 | gwn_Hidde | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 33 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Gwyll | 17 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | oubas | 15 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | IJqsper_ | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | jazz | 5 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 795 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | Tinus | 418 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | IJqsper_ | 212 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | oubas | 147 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vallas | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |





