








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5111 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3996 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2586 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3957 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,570,111 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albino | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | ImBeef | 58% | 89 |
| #3 | bertvc_ | 51% | 94 |
| #4 | IJqsper_ | 51% | 99 |
| #5 | Huzoll | 49% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Meg | 39% | 28 |
| #11 | oubas | 39% | 95 |
| #12 | Kim | 38% | 32 |
| #13 | kquerl | 37% | 60 |
| #14 | Aparino | 26% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 36 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Gwyll | 17 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Vallas | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | oubas | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | bertvc_ | 8 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 895 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | oubas | 247 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | IJqsper_ | 196 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Vallas | 193 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | ImBeef | 157 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImBeef | +3.08 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | oubas | +1.99 | 95 | 63 |
| #3 | Huzoll | +1.03 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | Aparino | +0.53 | 87 | 29 |
| #5 | IJqsper_ | +0.52 | 62 | 56 |





