








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3254 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1750 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4026 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1949 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,194,061 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IJqsper_ | 60% | 137 |
| #2 | Giedow | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | BramZL | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | ImBeef | 55% | 83 |
| #5 | Albino | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | Distant Quacking | 39% | 44 |
| #19 | Meg | 37% | 52 |
| #20 | Al-Kebabi | 36% | 39 |
| #21 | Member | 35% | 31 |
| #22 | Aparino | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 18 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Gwyll | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | BramZL | 8 | 0.0197 |
| #4 | ImBeef | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Giedow | 6 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 246 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tinus | 223 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | IJqsper_ | 132 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | kquerl | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | ImBeef | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BramZL | +3.43 | 85 | 49 |
| #2 | Huzoll | +2.95 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | ImBeef | +2.92 | 86 | 56 |
| #4 | IJqsper_ | +0.81 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | Vallas | +0.20 | 57 | 52 |





