








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4232 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3311 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1116 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 3154 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,110 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | gwill | 46% | 72 |
| #11 | Buzz Lightyear | 45% | 42 |
| #12 | Y 3 3 T | 44% | 87 |
| #13 | oKoL | 42% | 95 |
| #14 | PT-_- | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oKoL | 16 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Udder Spinner | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Dynxsty4 | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Y 3 3 T | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | gay with cheats | 11 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dynxsty4 | 483 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | gay with cheats | 478 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #3 | Udder Spinner | 277 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | kingdra | 254 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | 1BB_AfganTerrorNiger | 189 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dynxsty4 | +4.26 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | kingdra | +2.14 | 68 | 82 |
| #3 | gay with cheats | +1.87 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Kang | +1.26 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | oKoL | +0.93 | 87 | 37 |





