








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2427 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2422 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2076 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $939,813 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 963 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluffy | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | ✪ F3DerAL | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | Dynxsty4 | 58% | 101 |
| #4 | try | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | 1BB_AfganTerrorNiger | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dynxsty4 | 558 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | ✪ F3DerAL | 355 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | 1BB_AfganTerrorNiger | 254 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Joe | 184 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | try | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |





