










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 96 | 36% |
| Smokes | 88 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 58 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $91,079 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barack O'Beezy | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Slippy | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | asscheeks69asscheeks | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Blunt | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | Family Strokes | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barack O'Beezy | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Slippy | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | asscheeks69asscheeks | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Blunt | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | Family Strokes | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asscheeks69asscheeks | 4 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Slippy | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Blunt | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blunt | 64 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | asscheeks69asscheeks | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Slippy | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Barack O'Beezy | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slippy | +3.34 | 56 | 45 |
| #2 | Blunt | +1.62 | 60 | 55 |
| #3 | asscheeks69asscheeks | -0.62 | 41 | 49 |
| #4 | Barack O'Beezy | -1.82 | 41 | 36 |
| #5 | StormIsHot | -2.03 | 33 | 33 |





