








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 218 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5996 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5327 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4347 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4836 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $802,627 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luis | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | Mr. Nice Guy | 57% | 89 |
| #3 | GroNgo | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Fabian | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | auPacks | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fabian | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | auPacks | 54% | 48 |
| #6 | Katfood | 54% | 39 |
| #7 | die Putzfrau | 53% | 155 |
| #8 | Gamix | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | die Putzfrau | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Fabian | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Gamix | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Mr. Nice Guy | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Katfood | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamix | 355 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | die Putzfrau | 323 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Fabian | 208 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | auPacks | 185 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Luis | 171 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | die Putzfrau | +3.38 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | Mr. Nice Guy | +2.11 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | Huguette | +1.07 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Luis | +0.76 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | Fabian | +0.73 | 88 | 54 |





