








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1961 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1738 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1204 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1709 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $853,271 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mor1s | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Luis | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Sir Gilbert | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | auPacks | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | die Putzfrau | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Huguette | 55% | 62 |
| #7 | Huba | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | VacationIncoming | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | GroNgo | 44% | 54 |
| #10 | KaiZzen | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GroNgo | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Huguette | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | die Putzfrau | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Huba | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | VacationIncoming | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huguette | 360 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | GroNgo | 134 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | die Putzfrau | 113 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Luis | 101 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | auPacks | 93 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | die Putzfrau | +2.97 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Mor1s | +2.35 | 85 | 73 |
| #3 | Fabian | +1.86 | 89 | 55 |
| #4 | Sir Gilbert | +1.54 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | VacationIncoming | +0.91 | 76 | 68 |





