








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2279 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2694 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3038 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2657 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $886,119 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luis | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Fabian | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | der Boss | 57% | 68 |
| #4 | Mr. Nice Guy | 57% | 75 |
| #5 | der Lehrling | 57% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Huguette | 53% | 155 |
| #9 | GroNgo | 50% | 26 |
| #10 | Gamix | 49% | 43 |
| #11 | Sodatex | 48% | 21 |
| #12 | Tjörck | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huguette | 17 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | der Lehrling | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Fabian | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Mr. Nice Guy | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Katfood | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huguette | 706 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | der Lehrling | 218 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fabian | 166 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | auPacks | 149 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Katfood | 148 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | die Putzfrau | +4.48 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | Mr. Nice Guy | +1.35 | 83 | 47 |
| #3 | Fabian | +1.12 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | Sodatex | +1.05 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | Tjörck | +0.80 | 73 | 61 |





