








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4263 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4386 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3676 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2903 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,243,426 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabian | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | QueVaL | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | die Putzfrau | 69% | 26 |
| #4 | Sir Gilbert | 69% | 54 |
| #5 | Huguette | 67% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | die Putzfrau | +2.65 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | Luis | +2.57 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | Sir Gilbert | +1.54 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | Fabian | +1.05 | 88 | 57 |
| #5 | Scaréwo | +0.57 | 91 | 61 |





