








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.



















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
25 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 0 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 0 | 0% |
| Smokes | 0 | 0% |
| HE Grenades | 0 | 0% |
| Molotovs | 0 | 0% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,500 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanslo | 29% | 7 |
| #2 | Chef | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | Chico_stick | 18% | 11 |
| #4 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 15% | 13 |
| #5 | Chicussy | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chico_stick | 18% | 11 |
| #4 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 15% | 13 |
| #5 | Chicussy | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | A$AP Larry | 0% | 2 |
| #7 | Weolson | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Chico_stick | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Hanslo | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef | 32 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Chico_stick | 21 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Weolson | 17 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | Hanslo | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chico_stick | +6.57 | 84 | 45 |
| #2 | Chicussy | +4.18 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | Chef | +1.23 | 58 | 61 |
| #4 | Hanslo | -0.01 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | Weolson | -1.21 | 53 | 68 |





