








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2865 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4348 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2754 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3324 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,446 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 628 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collision | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | turqii | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | Alpha Coda | 52% | 82 |
| #4 | Weolson | 52% | 54 |
| #5 | No.Scrubs | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Weolson | 52% | 54 |
| #5 | No.Scrubs | 50% | 46 |
| #6 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 49% | 65 |
| #7 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 45% | 147 |
| #8 | A$AP Larry | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alpha Coda | 33 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | No.Scrubs | 13 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Weolson | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 441 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #2 | BIGDADDYDHOMAS | 180 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | turqii | 177 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Weolson | 175 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Collision | 123 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chico_stick | +3.35 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | Collision | +1.97 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Alpha Coda | +1.56 | 73 | 34 |
| #4 | Weolson | +1.15 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | turqii | +0.81 | 72 | 65 |





