








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2119 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4754 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 1327 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $30,455 of utility $4 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicussy | 28 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Chico_stick | 23 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Alpha Coda | 13 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | No.Scrubs | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | A$AP Larry | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chico_stick | 268 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Chicussy | 180 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Alpha Coda | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | A$AP Larry | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | No.Scrubs | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |





