








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3826 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3373 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2359 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2744 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,174 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 917 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirikuõpetaja | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | rikźź | 70% | 61 |
| #3 | M4rdik/. | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | VELLO SAAREMAALT | 67% | 21 |
| #5 | Nunnnn | 66% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Strazla | 57% | 47 |
| #11 | ♡ 𝓐𝓿𝓪 ♡ | 55% | 118 |
| #12 | copycat | 55% | 20 |
| #13 | Ketchup | 54% | 127 |
| #14 | vaxy faxy | 53% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ketchup | 34 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | ♡ 𝓐𝓿𝓪 ♡ | 27 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | vaxy faxy | 17 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | Strazla | 14 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | VELLO SAAREMAALT | 6 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | 358 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #2 | Nunnnn | 258 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | rikźź | 210 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | ♡ 𝓐𝓿𝓪 ♡ | 208 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | speed-deemon | 162 | 0.16 | 4 min |





