








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1562 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 615 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9588 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8939 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6323 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7432 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,648,616 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 752 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BravoFratello | 55% | 196 |
| #2 | Joe | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | Dobby Deagleson | 54% | 145 |
| #4 | Mort | 52% | 141 |
| #5 | Weed Warrior | 52% | 349 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lopyyyyyy. | 49% | 202 |
| #9 | Belia | 46% | 202 |
| #10 | .jNk^ | 45% | 170 |
| #11 | kk | 44% | 82 |
| #12 | ventaxS | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weed Warrior | 37 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | BravoFratello | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Mort | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Belia | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Lopyyyyyy. | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weed Warrior | 601 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | BravoFratello | 487 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Yaster Moda | 481 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Lopyyyyyy. | 377 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | Belia | 322 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BravoFratello | +2.86 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | Yaster Moda | +2.32 | 76 | 77 |
| #3 | Mort | +1.89 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | OlafOfDoom | +1.38 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | Joe | +0.96 | 89 | 32 |





