








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 544 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




362 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19237 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2334 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 14135 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 9657 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,230,755 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kartel | 50% | 129 |
| #6 | IVV | 49% | 146 |
| #7 | HELPMEAIM;O | 43% | 77 |
| #8 | Inx | 42% | 146 |
| #9 | Mrkriss | 41% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inx | 24 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Kartel | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | HELPMEAIM;O | 12 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | f y'all | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | IVV | 10 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f y'all | 364 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | HELPMEAIM;O | 312 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mrkriss | 241 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Inx | 227 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | IVV | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |





