








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 568 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1463 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1391 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3179 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1877 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,695,298 of utility $284 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOW TO AIM | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Kartel | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | IVV | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | Michiru | 42% | 146 |
| #5 | puupakk | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michiru | 61 | 0.0202 |
| #2 | HELPMEAIM;O | 21 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Läämä (END eSports) | 8 | 0.0204 |
| #4 | HOW TO AIM | 7 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | Kartel | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michiru | 842 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | HELPMEAIM;O | 418 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | puupakk | 154 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | HOW TO AIM | 128 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kartel | 71 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michiru | +4.14 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | Kartel | +3.31 | 70 | 54 |
| #3 | puupakk | +2.43 | 59 | 83 |
| #4 | HOW TO AIM | +1.43 | 55 | 74 |
| #5 | HELPMEAIM;O | +0.69 | 42 | 73 |





