








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 629 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 228 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




152 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16429 | 31% |
| Smokes | 14672 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 12319 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9156 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,633,121 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HqUSB -iwnl- | 52% | 130 |
| #4 | m✪pzik | 48% | 108 |
| #5 | ✪näu-näu✪ | 48% | 88 |
| #6 | MaVeRiC | 43% | 75 |
| #7 | ꧁༺BⱠi₮Ⱬ༻꧂ | 35% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michiru | 45 | 0.0285 |
| #2 | ✪näu-näu✪ | 19 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | m✪pzik | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | ꧁༺BⱠi₮Ⱬ༻꧂ | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | MaVeRiC | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michiru | 412 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | ꧁༺BⱠi₮Ⱬ༻꧂ | 316 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | MaVeRiC | 249 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | HqUSB -iwnl- | 157 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | m✪pzik | 111 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michiru | +5.04 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | HqUSB -iwnl- | +3.43 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | f y'all | +0.84 | 56 | 70 |
| #4 | ✪näu-näu✪ | -0.06 | 69 | 43 |
| #5 | MaVeRiC | -0.33 | 54 | 68 |





