








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3389 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3836 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3370 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2880 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,402,590 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 885 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •pürp1εhazε• | 58% | 327 |
| #2 | bluu | 56% | 263 |
| #3 | Tjmizzy | 54% | 212 |
| #4 | sweet | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Carmi | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bluu | 56% | 263 |
| #3 | Tjmizzy | 54% | 212 |
| #4 | sweet | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Carmi | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | sirbeef | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjmizzy | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | •pürp1εhazε• | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | bluu | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | sweet | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Carmi | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •pürp1εhazε• | 1106 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | Tjmizzy | 534 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | bluu | 439 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | sweet | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | sirbeef | 67 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluu | +2.77 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | sirbeef | +1.44 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | +0.65 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Tjmizzy | +0.10 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | •pürp1εhazε• | -0.93 | 66 | 59 |





