








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 880 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 353 matches | ||
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6201 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4910 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5854 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4994 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,352,418 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | 54% | 212 |
| #2 | •pürp1εhazε• | 53% | 423 |
| #3 | bluu | 52% | 330 |
| #4 | sweet | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | sirbeef | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | 54% | 212 |
| #2 | •pürp1εhazε• | 53% | 423 |
| #3 | bluu | 52% | 330 |
| #4 | sweet | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | sirbeef | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | •pürp1εhazε• | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | bluu | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | sirbeef | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | sweet | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •pürp1εhazε• | 1534 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | 584 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | bluu | 562 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #4 | sweet | 124 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | sirbeef | 99 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluu | +2.42 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | sirbeef | +1.67 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | fugg ✟ plz love jesus | +0.51 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Tjmizzy | -0.48 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | sweet | -0.62 | 68 | 59 |





