








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7795 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7679 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7659 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6100 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,033 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AGROBOY | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Beaglemetralha | 51% | 57 |
| #3 | caricannabis | 49% | 165 |
| #4 | Leo Lanches | 49% | 215 |
| #5 | pudinzera | 49% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Kurdt_Suicide | 43% | 137 |
| #12 | Coruja | 43% | 136 |
| #13 | #semfofoca CRAZY PULGA | 41% | 155 |
| #14 | Caio | 40% | 89 |
| #15 | W 7 | 38% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #semfofoca CRAZY PULGA | 38 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | ET_bilu | 25 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | pudinzera | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Leo Lanches | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | caricannabis | 14 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pudinzera | 1061 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #2 | ET_bilu | 587 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | Leo Lanches | 452 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | W 7 | 387 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | caricannabis | 271 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beaglemetralha | +1.91 | 52 | 70 |
| #2 | ET_bilu | +1.28 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | Coruja | +1.11 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | AGROBOY | +0.94 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | Leo Lanches | +0.65 | 63 | 71 |





