








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5860 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4717 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3505 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3880 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,209,476 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joseph Scarlet | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | oranger | 53% | 91 |
| #3 | kita.π¦ | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | β βͺπππππ¬π | 51% | 61 |
| #5 | Kawashiro Snow | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | PartinGtheBigBoy | 46% | 305 |
| #9 | ιδ»ε₯³ηδΉη₯ | 44% | 52 |
| #10 | Gabrielβ | 44% | 41 |
| #11 | Republic | 44% | 32 |
| #12 | ζ瑬ηδΊΊ | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PartinGtheBigBoy | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | β βͺπππππ¬π | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Gabrielβ | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | ζ’΅ | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | kita.π¦ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PartinGtheBigBoy | 1052 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | lizzyc | 544 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | oranger | 527 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #4 | ζ’΅ | 215 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | ιδ»ε₯³ηδΉη₯ | 208 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kita.π¦ | +2.06 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | oranger | +1.71 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | Lucas | +0.73 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Joseph Scarlet | +0.73 | 58 | 47 |
| #5 | ζ瑬ηδΊΊ | -0.01 | 62 | 49 |





