








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Esplay | 30 matches | 2,123 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3358 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3645 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2138 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,110 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miksu | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Koivikse Pressa | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | ✪ DecoY | 54% | 264 |
| #4 | Mike() | 53% | 230 |
| #5 | sandwichEater_428kg | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Koivikse Pressa | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | ✪ DecoY | 54% | 264 |
| #4 | Mike() | 53% | 230 |
| #5 | sandwichEater_428kg | 52% | 31 |
| #6 | ♥Ropsu♥ | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miksu | 24 | 0.0553 |
| #2 | ✪ DecoY | 23 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Koivikse Pressa | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Mike() | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | sandwichEater_428kg | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ DecoY | 1084 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | Mike() | 585 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | sandwichEater_428kg | 121 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Koivikse Pressa | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Miksu | 104 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4rd | +2.22 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Mike() | +1.39 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Miksu | +1.34 | 57 | 51 |
| #4 | ✪ DecoY | +1.09 | 86 | 71 |
| #5 | ♥Ropsu♥ | -1.22 | 88 | 56 |





