










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1696 | 40% |
| Smokes | 726 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 990 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 830 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,246 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4rd | 52% | 31 |
| #2 | Miksu | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | ♥Ropsu♥ | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Koivikse Pressa | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | Mike() | 46% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♥Ropsu♥ | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Koivikse Pressa | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | Mike() | 46% | 92 |
| #6 | ✪ DecoY | 44% | 141 |
| #7 | compl1cated | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miksu | 36 | 0.0299 |
| #2 | ✪ DecoY | 33 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Koivikse Pressa | 18 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Mike() | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | h4rd | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ DecoY | 756 | 0.27 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mike() | 279 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Miksu | 208 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Koivikse Pressa | 201 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | h4rd | 142 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4rd | +4.77 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | Mike() | +3.77 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | ✪ DecoY | +3.75 | 87 | 76 |
| #4 | Miksu | +3.58 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | ♥Ropsu♥ | +1.17 | 89 | 51 |





