








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 911 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Esplay | 28 matches | 2,009 | |
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3533 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2682 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3691 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3021 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,726,145 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miksu | 71% | 84 |
| #2 | h4rd | 53% | 230 |
| #3 | Koivikse Pressa | 53% | 156 |
| #4 | ✪ DecoY | 53% | 394 |
| #5 | sandwichEater_428kg | 46% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | h4rd | 53% | 230 |
| #3 | Koivikse Pressa | 53% | 156 |
| #4 | ✪ DecoY | 53% | 394 |
| #5 | sandwichEater_428kg | 46% | 92 |
| #6 | ♥Ropsu♥ | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miksu | 61 | 0.0391 |
| #2 | ✪ DecoY | 53 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | h4rd | 28 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Koivikse Pressa | 25 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | sandwichEater_428kg | 8 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ DecoY | 1782 | 0.23 | 49 min |
| #2 | h4rd | 803 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #3 | sandwichEater_428kg | 447 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #4 | Miksu | 338 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | Koivikse Pressa | 249 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4rd | +1.99 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Mike() | +1.82 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | ✪ DecoY | +1.70 | 86 | 73 |
| #4 | Miksu | +1.29 | 59 | 50 |
| #5 | ♥Ropsu♥ | -0.18 | 89 | 54 |





