










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 161 | 35% |
| Smokes | 121 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 127 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $84,569 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1mon | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Catoru | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Datsaac | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Popolor | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Hutienxi | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hutienxi | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Datsaac | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | SirBibit | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | nathanielcwm | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | TytheDino | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBibit | 149 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hutienxi | 136 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Datsaac | 27 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Popolor | 24 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | nathanielcwm | 17 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1mon | +6.63 | 96 | 53 |
| #2 | Datsaac | +5.88 | 77 | 32 |
| #3 | SirBibit | +4.26 | 53 | 63 |
| #4 | Catoru | +3.98 | 76 | 73 |
| #5 | Hutienxi | +1.01 | 54 | 63 |





