








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 950 | 45% |
| Smokes | 312 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 408 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 457 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,049 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerpyPotato | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | SweatHeart | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Datsaac | 47% | 72 |
| #4 | s1mon | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Hutienxi | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | s1mon | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Hutienxi | 42% | 59 |
| #6 | SirBibit | 38% | 129 |
| #7 | nathanielcwm | 35% | 63 |
| #8 | TytheDino | 29% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBibit | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Datsaac | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | nathanielcwm | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Hutienxi | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | TytheDino | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBibit | 557 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | Hutienxi | 207 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Datsaac | 96 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | s1mon | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | TytheDino | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Datsaac | +4.80 | 76 | 30 |
| #2 | SirBibit | +3.78 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | s1mon | +2.50 | 92 | 43 |
| #4 | Hutienxi | -1.13 | 48 | 61 |
| #5 | SweatHeart | -1.72 | 23 | 15 |





