








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 356 | 23% |
| Smokes | 904 | 59% |
| HE Grenades | 83 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 196 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,143 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hutienxi | 42% | 97 |
| #2 | Datsaac | 42% | 50 |
| #3 | s1mon | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | SweatHeart | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | SirBibit | 36% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | s1mon | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | SweatHeart | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | SirBibit | 36% | 121 |
| #6 | Popolor | 35% | 63 |
| #7 | TytheDino | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBibit | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Hutienxi | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Popolor | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Datsaac | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | TytheDino | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBibit | 634 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #2 | Hutienxi | 295 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Popolor | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Datsaac | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | TytheDino | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Datsaac | +6.36 | 75 | 33 |
| #2 | SirBibit | +5.01 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | s1mon | +2.48 | 87 | 32 |
| #4 | Hutienxi | +0.47 | 53 | 61 |
| #5 | SweatHeart | -1.61 | 38 | 20 |





