








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 587 | 37% |
| Smokes | 291 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 387 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,477 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1mon | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Datsaac | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | SirBibit | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | Hutienxi | 33% | 36 |
| #5 | nathanielcwm | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Datsaac | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | SirBibit | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | Hutienxi | 33% | 36 |
| #5 | nathanielcwm | 31% | 45 |
| #6 | Popolor | 29% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBibit | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Datsaac | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Popolor | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | nathanielcwm | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | s1mon | 2 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBibit | 379 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hutienxi | 125 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Datsaac | 80 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Popolor | 71 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | s1mon | 25 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1mon | +5.56 | 94 | 41 |
| #2 | Datsaac | +5.34 | 80 | 30 |
| #3 | SirBibit | +4.07 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | Hutienxi | -0.93 | 45 | 59 |
| #5 | TytheDino | -4.28 | 22 | 32 |





