








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 738 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8290 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4001 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3846 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4063 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,133,969 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TytheDino | 45% | 76 |
| #9 | Byo | 41% | 37 |
| #10 | Popolor | 38% | 129 |
| #11 | nathanielcwm | 36% | 121 |
| #12 | Napping.AI | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Datsaac | 23 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | nathanielcwm | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | TytheDino | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Catoru | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Popolor | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hutienxi | 433 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Datsaac | 399 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Catoru | 305 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #4 | Popolor | 195 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | t1ddyt1tanZ | 148 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t1ddyt1tanZ | +6.86 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | Datsaac | +2.59 | 73 | 32 |
| #3 | SirBibit | +2.56 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | s1mon | +1.30 | 89 | 39 |
| #5 | Byo | -0.40 | 66 | 25 |





