








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1765 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1037 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1350 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1183 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,559 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8man | 374 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | oreosss | 257 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | jHeck | 117 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | TheLilGeneral | 114 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | ZephyrBit | 102 | 0.20 | 2 min |





