








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5916 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5079 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2740 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4892 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,077,671 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8man | 19 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | ZephyrBit | 14 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | oreosss | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Mako | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Shrinkem | 7 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oreosss | 553 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | 8man | 483 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #3 | Skimix | 291 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Mako | 277 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | ZephyrBit | 255 | 0.17 | 5 min |





