








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2581 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2364 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1982 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3198 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,133 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8man | 70% | 100 |
| #2 | oreosss | 69% | 171 |
| #3 | TheLilGeneral | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | parker | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Weirmire | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jHeck | 32 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | 8man | 26 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | WeWeWe | 25 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Ruthless | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Kiss♡SisLover | 18 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oreosss | 753 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | jHeck | 638 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | 8man | 473 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #4 | Ruthless | 456 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Kiss♡SisLover | 410 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oreosss | +5.08 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | 8man | +4.27 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | jHeck | +2.47 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | parker | +2.42 | 77 | 69 |
| #5 | Ruthless | +0.52 | 71 | 54 |





