








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 644 | 27% |
| Smokes | 562 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 538 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 641 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,225 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirmire | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirmire | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirmire | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirmire | 105 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirmire | -0.73 | 37 | 55 |
| #2 | FrownedUponJon | -3.24 | 39 | 49 |





