








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6826 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5754 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1724 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 6150 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,106 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kraemer | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | ajstug | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 56% | 154 |
| #4 | Brxdly | 53% | 109 |
| #5 | Memester | 53% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memester | 39 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Dracula | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | RAT_SCAV | 13 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Private | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 546 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Memester | 515 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Private | 325 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dracula | 210 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Pulley™ | 140 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | +4.72 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | +1.51 | 49 | 60 |
| #3 | Memester | +1.19 | 51 | 56 |
| #4 | Kraemer | +1.13 | 61 | 77 |
| #5 | Private | +1.04 | 69 | 51 |





