








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3878 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4853 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4187 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3822 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $546,874 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dangerous | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | Kraemer | 54% | 305 |
| #3 | Jewbrokit | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | ajstug | 51% | 88 |
| #5 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kraemer | 54% | 305 |
| #3 | Jewbrokit | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | ajstug | 51% | 88 |
| #5 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | MFBirdman | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kraemer | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | ajstug | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Jewbrokit | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Dangerous | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kraemer | 1195 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #2 | ajstug | 307 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jewbrokit | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dangerous | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 97 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | +3.09 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | +1.72 | 55 | 59 |
| #3 | ajstug | +1.39 | 55 | 51 |
| #4 | Kraemer | +1.03 | 58 | 70 |
| #5 | Dangerous | +0.85 | 80 | 59 |





