








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1932 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1329 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1458 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,571 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dracula | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | Memester | 57% | 74 |
| #3 | ajstug | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | Jewbrokit | 52% | 134 |
| #5 | Kraemer | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jewbrokit | 52% | 134 |
| #5 | Kraemer | 50% | 32 |
| #6 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 48% | 44 |
| #7 | RAT_SCAV | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | Brxdly | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memester | 14 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | RAT_SCAV | 12 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | Dracula | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Jewbrokit | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Brxdly | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewbrokit | 458 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 178 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | ajstug | 148 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Memester | 145 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kraemer | 120 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | +3.81 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | Memester | +1.57 | 53 | 59 |
| #3 | Kraemer | +1.52 | 55 | 74 |
| #4 | ajstug | +1.13 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | Private | +0.91 | 72 | 51 |





