








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 631 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 222 | 29% |
| Smokes | 155 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 214 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 170 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,430 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 56% | 112 |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | 53% | 109 |
| #3 | ExoticSoups | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | Dracula | 47% | 118 |
| #5 | Memester | 46% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ExoticSoups | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | Dracula | 47% | 118 |
| #5 | Memester | 46% | 76 |
| #6 | DaltonR__ | 43% | 80 |
| #7 | RAT_SCAV | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dracula | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Memester | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | ExoticSoups | 10 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | DaltonR__ | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | RAT_SCAV | 6 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 404 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | 349 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Memester | 191 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dracula | 169 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | DaltonR__ | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adept ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | +7.24 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | Jewbrokit | +3.37 | 52 | 59 |
| #3 | Memester | +3.23 | 52 | 60 |
| #4 | DaltonR__ | +2.24 | 57 | 44 |
| #5 | Dracula | +1.99 | 56 | 38 |





