








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1302 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1332 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1157 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2444 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $965,861 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | >:o | 38% | 37 |
| #7 | tk | 38% | 64 |
| #8 | treky | 34% | 32 |
| #9 | pauljs | 33% | 78 |
| #10 | Alamedin | 30% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jesus john | 12 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Alamedin | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Sam le Slick Slime | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | >:o | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | tk | 3 | 0.0024 |





