








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 563 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4865 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6811 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5276 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5632 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,089,515 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yodasoN | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | PastorDolph | 52% | 391 |
| #3 | Soletread | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | de_iRicktastic | 49% | 113 |
| #5 | Ragnarok | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Soletread | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | de_iRicktastic | 49% | 113 |
| #5 | Ragnarok | 47% | 49 |
| #6 | Dragon | 43% | 30 |
| #7 | Shoddy RANDO | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastorDolph | 20 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | de_iRicktastic | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Shoddy RANDO | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Soletread | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Ragnarok | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PastorDolph | 1848 | 0.23 | 50 min |
| #2 | Soletread | 463 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| #3 | de_iRicktastic | 415 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ragnarok | 166 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shoddy RANDO | 159 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yodasoN | +4.49 | 74 | 77 |
| #2 | Shoddy RANDO | +1.88 | 47 | 68 |
| #3 | ALIMATRIX | +0.62 | 53 | 57 |
| #4 | de_iRicktastic | -0.55 | 27 | 81 |
| #5 | PastorDolph | -0.88 | 38 | 73 |





