








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 675 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3152 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3406 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2447 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2534 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,688 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 63% | 87 |
| #2 | duke9011 | 56% | 172 |
| #3 | Dybz | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | KirkeFritzel | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | bissE | 54% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KirkeFritzel | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | bissE | 54% | 98 |
| #6 | JemapelleCroissant | 52% | 102 |
| #7 | Blackjesus^ | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | Kimz | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bissE | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | JemapelleCroissant | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | duke9011 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Kimz | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bissE | 331 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | duke9011 | 316 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 251 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | JemapelleCroissant | 223 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dybz | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | +2.06 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Kimz | +1.92 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | T0NY | +1.66 | 57 | 69 |
| #4 | bissE | +1.01 | 78 | 71 |
| #5 | Dybz | +0.76 | 65 | 68 |





