








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1805 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2137 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1399 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1011 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,287 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | Blackjesus^ | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Dybz | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | T0NY | 54% | 98 |
| #5 | KirkeFritzel | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | duke9011 | 52% | 109 |
| #7 | Kimz | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Aiguo | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | JemapelleCroissant | 45% | 44 |
| #10 | Roody-Poo | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Kimz | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Roody-Poo | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | duke9011 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | T0NY | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T0NY | 400 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | duke9011 | 146 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | KirkeFritzel | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 95 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | JemapelleCroissant | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | +2.87 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | T0NY | +2.10 | 58 | 73 |
| #3 | Dybz | +1.21 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | Blackjesus^ | +0.97 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | bissE | +0.95 | 79 | 67 |





