








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 114 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3811 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3905 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4751 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1769 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,920,556 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JemapelleCroissant | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | FacereN^ | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | duke9011 | 57% | 106 |
| #4 | T0NY | 56% | 82 |
| #5 | bissE | 55% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Blackjesus^ | 45% | 87 |
| #11 | Roody-Poo | 44% | 170 |
| #12 | Kimz | 44% | 185 |
| #13 | Aiguo | 43% | 90 |
| #14 | KirkeFritzel | 42% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Roody-Poo | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | KirkeFritzel | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Aiguo | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Kimz | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | 728 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | cHonkers | 477 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Roody-Poo | 451 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | T0NY | 390 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #5 | KirkeFritzel | 295 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULRIK.GL | +1.96 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | T0NY | +1.66 | 55 | 74 |
| #3 | BroderSalsa | +1.60 | 79 | 81 |
| #4 | CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS | +1.51 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | cHonkers | +1.15 | 75 | 76 |





