








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6321 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4949 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4352 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3721 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4798 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,116,605 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hadrian | 62% | 90 |
| #2 | ☢ | 61% | 62 |
| #3 | Nem Nem The RAPPist GOD | 58% | 66 |
| #4 | lolkid007 | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | Nixs | 51% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Swarm | 50% | 186 |
| #10 | DTDusty | 48% | 180 |
| #11 | burp | 48% | 81 |
| #12 | FPS_Panda | 45% | 58 |
| #13 | Your Mom | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voice | 31 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | DTDusty | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Nem Nem The RAPPist GOD | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Swarm | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Your Mom | 6 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voice | 1387 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | Swarm | 783 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | DTDusty | 442 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | burp | 440 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #5 | Hadrian | 332 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ | +3.13 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Hadrian | +2.49 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | DTDusty | +2.08 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | Nixs | +1.64 | 56 | 51 |
| #5 | H4ZARD | +1.45 | 68 | 48 |





